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MY WORDS
 tagboard Credits
| I Miss You
I have something to tell you.
"What?" "I miss you... so much."
He kept said the same thing until I know that he is leaving me alone. Here. Alone. He said that's the best thing he can do for our relationship. He just left me behind without looking back.
I always trying to overcome my sadness and said to myself that I'm strong. Although, I'm not so strong enough.
Everyday, I keep wondering;
'Why he'd left me?'
'Am I not good enough?'
'Is he'd changed his heart?'
'Should I keep waiting for him?'
"I don't understand." Words that will always just be words. But I never give up. I still send him thousands messages, I still call him although I know no one will answering my calls.
'If this takes you a step further away from me, All I have to do is take a step closer, isn’t it?'
One day, he answered my call, "Girl, are you really desperate? Don't ever call me again!" "Please just stay by my side, please remain here," I begged. But he turn off the calls.
"He'd changed." An unbearable sadness comes. My tears keep coming. The person who deeply stuck in my heart has been hurting me. Yes I hate you, you left me.
Every time I try to moving on, all the moments and lovely memories keep comes. Its really hard.
I deleted all our pictures, messages and his number. But I can't erased the memories. ---
"I miss you... so much," he's crying alone by himself. He cries.
'In the countless nights I spent resenting you, it feels like I'm in the prison.' I'm suffering.
'Just having you in my arms, make me really happy.'
'But we're to different.'
'We aren't able to embrace each other's wounds.'
'I'm the coward one.'
'I just don't want to see you... hurts because of me again.'
'I'll leave her one day.' That's the reason why I choose to left her.
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It's been half a year since he left me. Without knowing any reason. I start my new life without him. I keep fussing myself with many things so I don't have time to think about him.
Everything changes. ---
Me and you, us when we're together.
'I always see her from far away.'
'I saw her laugh and her beautiful smile.'
When, he looked me at that moment, he feel hurts.
'She's really happy without me.' But that's the moment that he'd waiting for a long time.
Tomorrow is her birthday.
'Can I spend a little time with her?'
'But I don't want to meet her like this.' ---
The one who I think first,
'Will he wish me for my birthday?'
'Is he still remember my birthday?'
Nothing. I don't even receive a message from him. No wish. No present. No surprised from him.
'He'd forgotten me.'
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It's been 3 years. He's disappeared. His face repeatedly appears in my thoughts.
'I'm getting married, so stop thinking about that person.'
My wedding. It was supposed to be our wedding, what we dreamed of but this moment...
'I opened my heart for someone else.'
Someone has coming to my wedding. The person that I know. His sister.
'Why she's coming? Did I invited her?'
His sister approached, "Congratulations for both of you."
His sister want to talk with me in private. "This is the precious gift from my brother, and this is a letter for you." "But, where's him?' I asked. "He'd left us, bye sorry I must go right now." "But, wait!"
She just go. She doesn't heard my calls or just pretending that she not heard my calls.
In my room, silence.
'He even left his family?'
'Should I read?'
I decided to open the letter;
"For my precious girl in the world, today is your 25th birthday right? Happy birthday my little girl. The same day with your wedding right? You had promise that you will getting married in your 25th birthday. If not with me, with someone else. That's your promise. I’m here to see your smile and to congratulate you. I hope you marrying the best guy in the world like me. :P I still remember your words, you and me, us when we're together. Sorry I didn't meant to hurt you. There hasn’t been a day that I have forgotten you. Honestly, I miss you... so much. You call not long ago, and I said "you're desperate." I heard you trembling and crying. I acted like I was fine. But my heart hurt so bad... With my lonely and uneasy heart, my heart still waiting for you. Everyday. Almost 7 years, we share the moments, its not easy to act fine, like nothing happen between us. If you're really married today, you can live without me. I'm happy for you. My little girl, I'm sorry because always make you crying. You know what, this letter I wrote in your 22nd birthday. So that gift for your 22nd birthday. But I want to give that present as in your wedding gift. I love you! I love you! I shout it for you out after staying long silence. All of the patients in this room think I'm crazy. Yes, I'm crazy, crazy of you. It's may seem weak and childish but it's my true feelings. You must really wonder where am I right? I'm far away from you even from my family. This is the reason why I decided to leave you. Because I'll leave you someday. My heart not strong enough to live with you. I'm fighting myself. Thank you for the most beautiful moment. Love you, my little girl and take care of your husband."
I burst into tears. My clueless husband come and hugging me. "Why dear?" "Thanks for being here with me," I replied.
'I miss you... so much.'
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End.
-fiction story that I made. Sorry for the grammatical error, I'm very bad in english. Sesaje nak berenglish day.
inspired by- spring day;bts
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